Dissociation in Adults, Children and Teenagers — and How EMDR Therapy Can Help

Dissociation is a term that’s increasingly used in conversations about mental health, yet it’s still widely misunderstood. Many people assume dissociation only affects those with “severe trauma”. In reality, dissociation is a common nervous system response seen in adults, children, and teenagers — particularly following stress, trauma, or prolonged emotional overwhelm. ## What is dissociation? Dissociation happens when the brain creates distance from experiences that feel too much to manage. It’s not a choice or a character flaw — it’s a protective survival response. In adults, dissociation can feel like: - emotional numbness or shut-down - feeling disconnected from your body - gaps in memory - a sense of being on autopilot - feeling “far away” from your life, even when you’re functioning Many adults come to therapy for anxiety, depression, burnout, or chronic stress without realising dissociation is operating underneath. ## Dissociation in children and teenagers can look different In children and teenagers, dissociation often shows up through behaviour, which means it can be missed or misunderstood. Rather than saying they feel “unreal” or disconnected, young people may look like they are switching off, zoning out, or reacting intensely without obvious warning. Common signs in children and adolescents can include: - appearing daydreamy, blank, or “not present” - sudden emotional shutdowns or intense emotional reactions - difficulties with concentration, learning, or memory - behaviour that seems immature for their age - frequent headaches, stomach aches, or unexplained physical symptoms - risk-taking, self-harm, or seeming indifferent to danger - struggles with emotional regulation, especially after stress For many young people, dissociation develops in response to *developmental or relational trauma* — such as emotional neglect, bullying, medical procedures, family conflict, or chronic stress — even when there has been no single obvious traumatic event. Dissociation is not bad behaviour or defiance. It is the nervous system trying to cope. ## How EMDR therapy can help EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) is a well-established, evidence-based approach for treating trauma and dissociation in both adults and young people. EMDR works by helping the brain reprocess experiences that were overwhelming at the time they occurred. Instead of the memory staying “stuck” in survival mode, the nervous system can settle and integrate what happened — so the past stops intruding into the present. When working with dissociation, EMDR is adapted carefully. Therapy often begins with stabilisation, resourcing, and building a sense of safety *before* any trauma processing takes place — particularly with children and teenagers. Over time, clients often report: - feeling more present and connected - calmer emotional responses - fewer shutdowns or “blank” moments - improved emotional regulation - reduced fear, stress, and overwhelm in daily life ## A final note If you or your child struggles with dissociation, emotional shutdown, or confusing behavioural patterns, it does not mean something is “wrong”. These responses make sense in context — and they can change. With the right support, your nervous system can learn that it no longer has to survive the present as if it is still the past.